behind the closed doors -4

4.

EPILOGUE

9:49 PM

The man stood in the office cafeteria, looking into the dark sky.

The whole ambience outside was very depressive with huge bouts of air blowing across amid loud thunders and rain. The man stared the raindrops splattering onto the huge glass panes. The steam from the hot coffee mug in his hands smeared on his spectacles.

Even that dark liquid wasn’t really helping. He was still lost in thought.

The man stretched his hand and spread his palm along the glass pane to feel the wetness of the rain, in vain.
He kept staring at his silhouette on the dark glass pane.

Suddenly, his silhouette was no more moving the coffee mug along with him. And before he could comprehend, there now, stood right before the man, IN the glass pane, is his friend, with his head bent. He stood there matching his palm to the man’s palm.

The man took his hand off the glass pane with a jolt. He was speechless partly with fear and partly in awe. It was too much to even grasp, forget understand.

The friend raised his head and smiled, looking at the man. He asked,
“How are you? “

”…..”

“Dude..How are you? “

“..Uh..Fine..”

“Don’t tell me..U aren’t still done with the mourning.huh!?” he chided.

“..uh..ah…”

He kept looking at the man.

“What’s wrong?”

“ wha..w..wat’s this? I..Its..all unreal. I am.. just my illusion..”

“Nope. It isn’t ”

“Yes. I am..!”

“Nope. U aren’t and btw, you shouldn’t be dreaming about me!”. He winked.

“……..”
The man still couldn’t figure out the proceedings. He muttered, “..U…macha..U know how happy I am to see u again..I mean I don’t know ….you know…”

“Yeah…I know.”

“….”

“You know what! I just spoke to that girl too!”

“You what?”

“I spoke to that girl whom we, rather I, keep checking out..”

“U did!!! … and ..?”

“Poor thing!….all she could do was just sob..! And you know wat…she told me that she knew I would come..! And that….she too was in love with me..”said the friend thinking. “And, bad luck, can’t cherish that!”, he added.


The man stood looking at the pensive friend lost in thought.

“Macha, U know what! U are really missed! “

All the friend could do was to smile back.

“Tell me something… U….i mean..Are u happy? “, asked the man.

“Very.”

“Uh..ah..Don’t you miss your folks and all that?”

“hmm… Yes and no. I did miss them, but now I get to know the ballgame completely and how it works. So its ok, I guess. And they too shall understand. Eventually...” said the friend said with an enigmatic smile.

The man kept staring at the pane, puzzled.

“Dude. I haven’t got the whole time of the world with me.”

“uh….ah..”, the man mumbled unable to come up with anything comprehensible.

“Dude, I have to tell u something.” said the friend solemnly.

“..wh..w.what ?”

“I know wat ran in your mind then in the mortuary. And you know what, it wasn’t damp and suffocating deep in the drawer out there in the bluestar!!!”

The cup dropped from the man, crashed onto the floor and broke into splinters.

The man stepped behind and stuck to the wall behind in disbelief. He began to sweat in fear.

“Ha!ha!ha! Hey sorry dude. That was just to scare you! Am really sorry.ha hah!”

The man was still hyperventilating.

“And dude. You’re right. I’ve now figured out the divine secret. I now know what’s behind and what’s beyond. And no, I cannot reveal that to you. Everyone has to find it on his or her own. Infact I can just wink and tell you everything. But thereafter you shall lose the whole fun of living. …Infact on a lighter note that reminds me of the fun we used to have, over all that beer and chips we used to hog on weekends… I really miss them a lot!”

The man managed to evoke a very faint thin smile.

“You know wat dude. That night of my.. well..this..happened(somehow he could use the word “death”) was the most painful part of the whole journey. I couldn’t figure out where do I stand and what is that I lost. I was in a very frustrating confusion where I ain’t bound by time and other dimensions. Neither could I console my near and dear, nor could I walk away. It took me lot of hell to understand the gravity of the situation and to accept this personal indifference...and yeah, please note that hell is more subjectively used as an analogy. And about the real one, melody khao..Khud jaan jao! Ha ha-ha!”

The man pursed the upper lip stiff, into a weak grin, withholding the pain. He sensed the underlying grief and loneliness despite his friend’s charm and humor.
He too was feeling the same pain, albeit from altogether a different plane and a perspective.

“I …really had a very tough time consoling your mom”, the man said.

“Yeah. I understand. You damn refused to even speak to her!”

“macha, Its not like that..I just could’nt…”

“That’s ok..I understand. I was just kidding…”

Both of them smiled weakly at each other.

Nothing has still wiped off that child-like innocent hunger for mischief in between the both.

“Dude, This is the last time I can talk to you and then its good bye forever. But before that there is something I would like you to really get into that dumb mind of yours…”

“……”

The man looked on.

“Dude, It’s not me who’s locked sleeping and lying down in that damp dark corpse drawer behind those closed doors of the morgue. I am infact the one who’s free, happy and liberated. I, now, know the secret of happiness.
It’s you guys, on the open side that are locked in. In misery, ignorance, ego and foolishness of your own selves. In your own damp dark pits. Behind those closed doors of your hearts and minds.
For beyond the closed doors is the happiness.
And all I can tell you guys is to grab it before your doors are closed.”

The friend suddenly looked to his right with a mystical and enigmatic expression.
The man couldn’t figure out the realm as well as the dimension in which his friend currently is. But the look of the friend spoke a lot which is more than what can be explained in words.
Was it euphoria, panic, apprehension or anything at all was infact incomprehensible.

The friend swiftly turned towards the man, gave a small smile and looked back to his right. But the man still swears by the notion he heard faintly something like “God’s speeding”.

And even before the man understood what’s happening around, there was this sudden big thunder, followed by a blinding lightening that made the man shudder.
He shielded his eyes and cowered further into the wall.

Few moments later, he slowly removed the hand and opened the eyes.
The raindrops still kept splattering onto the dark glass panes washing the dirt off them.

His silhouette was staring at back at him. Equally scared.